


Worship

by tswarlee17



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Coffee, Confessions, F/F, Height Differences, Hero Worship, Hiding in Plain Sight, Kissing, POV Second Person, Pining, Sapphic Characters, Slightly Canon Plot Compliant, honestly this is me trying to analyze yelena as a character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29331897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tswarlee17/pseuds/tswarlee17
Summary: Counting down the minutes before their return to Paradis, the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers spend a quiet afternoon in the ship. Unfortunately, your thoughts run rampant as your leader, Yelena, stood under the open sky, her beauty being magnified by the grand rays of the sun. You were scared to talk. But al you needed was a little nudge.
Relationships: Yelena (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 88





	Worship

In the grand scheme of things, you’re just a mere ant. A miniscule follower like many others of your kind. In her eyes, maybe you’re even smaller. Perhaps just a speck of dust she could wipe off once she notices you while she was in a particularly awful mood. 

Yes, that’s all you are to her, despite you sharing struggles in the past.

Though loyalty was evident in you all this time, even in the moments which she seemed lost from everyone else—her confusing ideals always being her light in the dark, you kept up with her. 

The subject of your affection stands in front of you, her head resting on her knuckles as she leaned on the edge of the ship. The sea opened before all of you, the smell of heated mist mixed with wet floorboards roamed around you. The sun was out, but it was covered by clouds and the winds were strong; it’s not a good omen. But you know she could care less. Whatever is going on in that brain of hers? You never know. You always wanted to—

“Talk to her,” a figure stood beside you, knocking you out of your trance. You look over and see Onyankopon, his mouth beamed into a small smile. “You think you aren’t obvious?”

“Talk about what?” Lord knows what Yelena could be thinking of. Disturbing her stream of consciousness might even merit you a bullet in your head. You just stare ahead. “Nothing good to talk about in this cramped world.”

Onyankopon turns his back from the view you were cherishing and leans on the edge of the boat as well. The clouds have chosen to part, the apple of your eye absorbing the grand sun rays. “It wouldn’t hurt to try,” he said. “You have less than an hour ‘til we reach Paradis. Say something normal, yeah?” He has a point. There’s no room to hold back, maybe. The volunteers will be working with Eren Jaeger and the Survey Corps in a few days from now, who knows what’ll happen? 

“Made up your mind?” Onyankopon asked.

You nodded, a bit of hesitation keeping you from confidently doing so.

“Alright,” his face lightened up. He’s so amused with this, you can’t tell if he’s just in it for amusement or not. “Take this.” A warm mug of coffee was pushed into your hands. You grip it and breathe deeply.

Here goes nothing. The wood below your boots creak as you step closer to Yelena, but her focus is pointed towards the horizon. Seagulls were flying above; we’re getting closer to the shore. You look at her face as she stares blankly, her long lashes slowly meeting the spot under her eyes. “Miss Yelena?”

Her head swivels in your direction, the wind blowing against her blonde hair. She looks at you, a questioning look painted on her face. “Yes, is there something wrong?”

Catching your breath, you hand her the mug filled with coffee, hoping the gesture is accepted warmly. “You’ve been here all noon, it’s a bit cold, isn’t it?” You tried for something casual, she didn’t take for an authoritative figure anyway.

Her lip quirks upward. Taking the mug from you, her thumb brushes against yours. Her hand was like snow. Maybe you gasped, maybe you didn’t. “Thank you,” comes her short reply, but she quickly blew on the drink and put the rim of the mug to her lips. Yelena takes a sip, making eye contact with you as your feet remain planted next to her. “Is there something you need, (Y/N)?”

“Oh, um,” Okay, maybe you didn’t plan ahead for what next to say. “What do we do now that Eren Jaeger’s tailing in with Zeke’s plan?” 

“Finally reuniting these two brothers has always been my dream,” she speaks as if she were in a trance. “I can’t wait to save the world alongside them. What better way to dedicate my life to?” She seemed to be head over heels for the beast, the wonder child, Zeke Jaeger. Mystery shrouded him and an even bigger mystery to you is their relationship. But you kept quiet.

Her eyes were twinkling. You can’t help but smile, as well. The whole world might end, yet you’re here clinging on to her smile. A weird motivation, but what can you do?

“(Y/N).” Yelena’s face now displayed a serious look. 

“Ye-Yes?” Did you say something that pissed her off? You barely uttered two coherent sentences.

“What do you like in me?”

You were caught off guard, to say the least. Heat started to boil beneath your cheeks, giving you no time to deny it. So you were painfully obvious, huh?

“You think I don’t notice the way you look at me?” There’s a pained smile on Yelena’s face. The wind blows slower, maybe your heart stopped beating as you were frozen, not much to say than the obvious.

“Yeah,” you reply, fidgeting with your fingers. “I’m sorry about it.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Yelena empties the mug of coffee. A little bit of coffee foam sits on the top of her lip. “I understand you.” Her eyes seem to search into your soul, awaiting for her thoughts to be confirmed. Yes, you were head over heels for her, but she was head over heels for Zeke. Both of you yearn for someone who can’t possibly reciprocate. Not in this world, not with your aspirations. Not with your deadlines and the tragedies that await.

“To answer your question, I don’t particularly know why I like you.” Your eyes remain glued to the shiny part of your shoes, not willing to make eye contact with the tall woman.

She sighs, placing one of her hands inside the pocket of her blazer. “There’s got to be a reason!” Yelena gestures around as she recites: “My history? My power? Not that I have much—”

“I like you for the way you are,” you silenced her, which was quite brave of you. “I’m sorry if it’s not much.”

“So many powerful, influential people—even gods—walk among us and yet, you have chosen me?” Yelena steps closer to you, bending down so she could be nearer. The mug of coffee was placed in a crate next to you. Her expression was somber as her irises were painted dark with doubt. “I cannot understand.” The space between you was narrow and you felt small. But you looked at her. “(Y/N), can you do something for me?” 

She smelled like wine as she leaned closer. Your heart was crazed and time seemed to halt. The sound of waves rocking against the ship faded out.

“What is it?” You ask, gripping her arm as she places it above your waist.

“Kiss me, if you please.” Her other hand made its way to your back. She towered over you. “Maybe I want you too.” The tip of her nose met with yours; you tip your head to the side and wipe the foam off her lips.

“You had coffee on your lips,” you spoke in a hushed tone, her mouth inches from yours. The hand you used was placed on the side of her cheek. And you closed the gap.

She kissed you once, paused, then brought her lips to yours once again.

The world was miniscule in such a moment. Her lips were chapped, but terribly delicious. She kissed you fervently, and you did so too with the same passion. Your hands held her tightly, never wanting to let go because this moment is so precious, you don’t want it to end. The two of your eyelids flutter as they touch; you can’t believe it.

Both her hands travelled from your midsection to your cheeks, carefully caressing them. She gasped when you bit her bottom lip. But you could feel her smirk when the deed was done. “(Y/N),” she pulled away first, her eyes meeting yours again. “You feel good, oh so good.”

She praised you and your head was too hazy. You wanted more but,

“What now?” You ask, letting your hands fall from her body. The heat of the moment was withering and you wanted to respect whatever space Yelena wanted to take.

“What do you mean?” Her hands still remain on either side of your head. She let her forehead rest on yours, but you backed away.

“Aren’t you and Zeke--? Aren’t you loyal to him?” 

She laughed, shaking her head as if you’ve got it all wrong about her. All along maybe you’ve just not known her story. But you were willing to pay attention. “Loyal to his mission, yes. But I want more from life than worshipping a man.” 

That’s one relieving thought, but you still hesitated. “So you want me? How do you know I’m not worshipping you either” You let every ounce of honesty drape over your words. You like her a lot, but you just want to get to know her more.

“You shouldn’t have to worship me, I’m no god.” She pulled you gently with her, hiding behind the large crates piled onto the boat where no one could see the two of you. You bite back a smile from just being here with her. She places a kiss on the tip of your nose. “Just a woman who’s addicted to your affection.” Then she dives into your lips once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed this short fic! I TOTALLY wasn't writing this right before my sem started.


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